Books have always been a wonderful tool for us to learn new things or spend time with when we want to take a break from our chaotic world. There are various reasons why people read different kinds of books, but for me I enjoy reading how-to ones. I found this type of text very fascinating to explore because it provides many practical examples to practice and I am able to utilize some of them into my life. Fortunately, I came across and had an opportunity to read a legendary classic how-to book called How to Win Friends and Influence People which was written by Dale Carnegie. It is widely recommended that every person should read it once in their lifetime and I sincerely believe in this concept. Although the title of the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, might make many people sleepy and bored before reading it, I would say “Don't judge a book by its cover” as I do think that it will better every aspect of your life, especially relationships, more or less.
To begin with, the first benefit after you read this book is that you are going to receive good tact skills. It is clear that students are not well trained in these abilities in schools or universities where academic subjects might be more important to be focused on. One technique I think everyone can use is “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”, meaning even if other people do a huge wrong to us, it is useless to let our anger overcome our emotions and complain aggressively to them because they would not blame themselves for causing it.
Moreover, I have seen many people who have no idea how to persuade others to like them, and this skill is quite important in society. By reading the second chapter of the book, readers will be enlightened how to do that properly through this well-structured written work. Giving your interest to others, for example, is a key point to building a good relationship. In general conversation, people love to talk about themselves and tend to take others’ topics for granted, and this behavior is obvious by looking at the pronouns they use, when the word “I” is more often used than the word “you”. After reflection, I couldn't agree more and understand human nature better, so I hope this chapter will definitely help most new readers to expand their perspective on the human mind.
I am not sure whether the next chapter I am about to mention is a climax of the book or not, but the detail is about how to influence people, which is similar to the book’s title. However, I am sure that a valuable concept of this chapter would be compromising, which is difficult to do sometimes. As a social animal, we have various ideas and we are from different backgrounds, all of which could lead to disagreements or conflicts. That is why compromising will play a huge role in these issues. If we know the situation and compromise following it, I think any difficulties will disappear. This method should be applied in our daily life such as work, friends, or family as it will improve the atmosphere and increase our friends.
In conclusion, this legendary book is fundamental to our life and I think it will help us to understand humans better so we are able to live together with happiness.
When I saw Good's initial brainstormed list of topics, one of the books on it was Michael Sandel's Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do?. I had hoped he might have chosen that one, but Dale Carnegie's classic is enduring classic well worth discussing.
ReplyDeleteReading Good's essay took me back to high school. I was a bit nerdy then, a classic sort of geek. I read science books on the bus trips to and from school. I did maths problems for fun. I spent much of my break time in the library. I read about a novel a day. I didn't get bullied, and didn't get on badly with my classmates, but I only had a couple of friends, and felt intensely uncomfortable in relaxed social situations. Structured situations were fine, and I loved debating and public speaking.
My solution to all problems was to read a book, so in junior high school, I read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. By then, it was already a classic. As Good tells us, Carnegie's book is full of practical tips and information, and it held my interest for the couple of days I took to read it. I remembered the importance that Carnegie gives to getting out of the habit of excessive use of the personal pronoun "I" and into more use of "you". That and the other strategies he gives were helpful for a socially awkward teenager, but although they helped me fit in a little, they didn't really change who I was, and who I still am.
I suspect that my deep personality traits were hard wired into my brain by my genes, and won't be changed. A couple of my brothers and sisters are similar, and a copy of Carnegie's book also sits on youngest brother's bookshelf. Sometimes books help us understand, but not always to change things the way we might like to, not even ourselves.
Thank you Peter for the comment.
DeleteYes, both books of Dale Carnegie and Michale Sandel are worth discussing but it's quite sad that I cannot recall the details in the Machale's book as I read it quite long time ago so I chose this classic book instead.
I hope this essay is able to pursuade people who come across this blog to read my recommended book.
Hi Good, it is nice to read and learn about the book from your essay. My friends have recommended me to read it too, but I did not a chance to do so. I agree with Dale Carnegie that it is useless to be angry at and respond to people who have done a big wrong thing to us, because I believe that forgiveness is important to form healthy relationships with others. In my family, we are a Chinese-Thai family, I see how cultures influence the way we respond to each other. Because my month and her relatives are Chinese, they usually say things directly and express their feelings directly without caring about other’s feelings, because they think that this show sincerity. However, this has created tensions to my father and his relatives who are Thai and have different approaches. My father always forgives people when they have done bad things to him and he always ‘Mai Pen Rai’, meaning never mind in English. However, I think that both approaches are too extreme, as I think are not applicable. In my experience, I used to forgive many people when they did really bad things to me, but they thought that it was fine to not be nice to me and that would put me in problems. What I want to say is it is hard to expect other people to react the same way that I react to them.
ReplyDelete