The article reports the findings of a long term study of more than 14,000 mothers, which shows a correlation between depression in the mother during pregnancy and depression in their children when they become adults, although the authors caution that the link is not causal ("Depression risk", 2013).
As I was writing my summary, I wanted to weaken the main verb in the last clause. Had I written the article, I would have said that the correlation might not be causal, rather than the much stronger claim that it is not causal. Although in class and in my review comments I've sometimes suggested the opposite, there are times where a weaker statement is preferable, and I think this is one of those times. But this is a minor point, and since I was summarizing, I did not change the idea in the original, even though I don't agree with it. And perhaps the authors of the journal article can indeed support the stronger statement.
More to the point for the essays we are writing over the coming week to answer one of Hartmann's questions on page 224 or her question on page 227, the article reminded me of some other things, which in turn suggested an interesting, I hope surprising and unusual, answer to the first of the questions on page 224. I will tell you what my proposition is, but after Monday when we look at thesis statements and hopefully also manage to analyse Hartmann's example paragraph on page 227, with its wonderfully controversial main idea in the topic sentence, and of course after we answer an exam question on Law's dialogue.
__________
Reference
Hartmann, P. (2007). Quest 2 Reading and Writing (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.
When I saw the title and read this BBC News article, I thought that there was a useful connection that might suggest an answer to the first of Hartmann's questions on page 224.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was a general topic: abortion. This came into my head because the article suggests a connection between what happens to the mother during pregnancy and the consequences for her child many years later. This was the basis for my first idea.
After a bit more thought, I thought that more abortions would be helpful, but helpful for whom? More thought needed.
I could now write a first version of a provisional thesis statement to answer the question: What should be done about women who drink alcohol or take drugs when they are pregnant?
Provisional thesis statement v.1 = Pregnant women who are regularly using drugs should be encouraged to have an abortion.
But then I thought that not all drugs are equally harmful. In particular, not all drugs are equally harmful to the foetus, so this suggested a revised version.
Provisional thesis statement v.2 = Pregnant women who are frequently using drugs that are harmful to the user should be encouraged by law to abort the foetus, rather than to give birth. (I've also made a couple of other revisions here: changed regular to frequent, and added by law, although I'm not sure that this last is clear enough. So I need version 3. And it would be a good idea to include something that suggests my supporting reasons, which I've now had enough time to start planning (step 3+).
Provisional thesis statement v.3 = Since it offers both long term benefits in reducing drug problems in society as well as immediate reduction in drug related problems to the woman and to society (those around her?), safe, legal abortion should be made available by public hospitals to all women who ask for it. This has actually changed a lot: the proposition is now much more general than women who use drugs, but adding in the reasons that the essay will discuss as support makes it an answer to Hartmann's question. The (parenthetic note suggests something I still haven't decided - but I will before tomorrow morning.)
I think that this version 3. is OK for now, but when I start writing the body, I might want to make further revisions:
Do I want to discuss the immediate impact first, or the long term impact?
And what about opposing arguments? I'm pretty sure that at least some people (in the US, about 50%) would strongly disagree with this proposition in response to women who drink alcohol or use other drugs when pregnant, so the next version of them thesis statement (still provisional) might want to include a clause that acknowledges, and perhaps address, the likely opposing argument(s) to my proposition.
Provisional thesis statement v.4 = Coming in a couple of days. I think that v.3 is strong enough to start supporting - and it does need some support.
My topic, as stated in the thesis statement, is now safe, legal abortion. (Pronoun = it.)
DeleteThe main idea about this is that it should be made available by public hospitals to all women who ask for it.
The reader also has a good idea as to what I will discuss in the body of the essay.