Wednesday 10 July 2019
Krong's the drummer experience
Every year, there are one event that I always waiting for, Just like most student in my school, "Sport day". It is the biggest event of my school that every student in each year have different activities and job to do, following their own interested. I always want to be a drummer for stand-cheer.It was may dream since I was in year 7. Every time I aw my seniors control all the student on stand by their rhythm, it looks so powerful. The only year that can be the drummer is student in year 11 which was the organizer year of the sport day. Years passed and I became Year 11. I still want to be the drummer of stand cheer, but there many problem that I can't be. First, there are only 4 person that can be. So, My friend would choose people that can play drum the best. since I can't play drums at all, that day that day announce the rules, I went back and bought drum sticks. Luckily, my friend who can play drum extremely perfect come to be my teacher and help me. I have to practice very hard. I have only 1 month to play all the rhythms they required and also be able to play it for 30 minutes. I precise 2 hours a day and it does work. I can play all the rhythm but, I cant hold it for 30 minutes. So, I decided to practice more to be 4 hours per day. I was so tired and wanted to stop. But every time I choose to look to the prize. If I could be the drummer.That makes me went through all the tough times. Finally, the precise show the result. I passed. This teach me that if i try hard enough, I can do everything.
2 comments:
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1.For me, I think your topic is good enough. The blog points "The drummer experience", but I suggest if you add some positive or negative adjectives to lead what the reader will feel or get the tone of blog. It seems like forecasting the story.
ReplyDelete2. I like your introduction which start from general (one event which I'm waiting for..) to specific (Sport Day), and then I found topic sentence "Sport day it is the biggest..." It causes my expectation about exciting or challenge tone.
3. For your supporting details, your styles of storytelling is quiet excellent because you give a background of the blog about your dream. After that, you faced the problems (lack of experience). Finally, when you put into an effort a lot, you can do it.
4.Content: Overall, the blog is quite interesting and smooth writing, but for me, I suggest that you give more details why you can pass the show or what the next step on your dream or your drummer role's goal is.
Bam's review is gives the thoughtful and constructive comments that we, and the writer, looks for in a review.
DeleteBut approaching it critically as always, we don't have to agree with everything in the review. Whilst agreeing that Krong's topic is well chosen, I thought that the topic sentence is really the concluding sentence, to which Krong has led us from the general opening sentence through the details of the supporting sentences.