Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Introducing Apple
My academic interest is totally about the science of psychology. The field explains a lot of human's condition which always happen in daily life. Everyone is unique and different more or less depended on their background. There are also many varieties of factors influencing the forming of mind, for example perceptions, experiences and upbringing. Moreover, not only psychology affects existence of personal level, it also demonstrate important events and phenomenon in the world. If people can thoroughly understand their the need and work mechanism of their own mentality, it will become a powerful source that make them overcome their fear or negative feelings and encourage them to the state of efficient plus creation. Because psychology has precious advantages I stated above, I really love to study and access its massive greatness.
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1) line4: It would be better to use such as rather than for example because you give only a few word, otherwise you might need to explain more.
ReplyDelete2) line5: "not only" should follow by "but also".
3) line8: be sure to use will or would.
4) last line: you might need to rewrite >> because would not be the best word to use.
good writing na eiei.
Your writing is very interesting. In the past, I sit in Psychology subject in my university because I think it's very interesting to know what people think and why they do like that. When I finished this subject, I got nothing because it's just an introduction which I have already known from other subjects. However, if I have free time in future, I will try to study in deep.
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