The Art of Failure

At the beginning of November last year, I was confronted by a major disappointment. This story is related to my first TOEFL exam, for which I had prepared for more than six months. I am still able to feel the sensation of nervousness, pressure and stress on that day and because of these feelings, I received a very bad mark. At first, it did not occur to me that my disappointment would teach me a valuable lesson. Since then, however, I have attempted to rationalise why I received such a terrible mark. Even though I am generally quite optimistic, I started to ask myself some negative questions. Fortunately, I came across an article by Malcom Gladwell named Why some people choke and others panic and it provided the answer for which I was looking.

Gladwell claims that there are two kinds of reactions to pressure and stress. Firstly, to explain what choking is, he cites om Daniel Willingham, a psychologist at the University of Virginia, who compares the two different learning systems, "explicit and implicit learning". Explicit learning happens when people learn new things consciously while implicit learning occurs when they do what they have learnt without thinking. Willingham says:“Under conditions of stress, however, the explicit system sometimes takes over. That's what it means to choke.”Secondly, panicking, which is at times called “perceptual narrowing”, takes control of people by making them concentrate and obsess on only the task in hand. Gladwell, therefore, concludes that panic, in this sense, is the opposite of choking. Choking is about thinking too much; Panic is about thinking too little. Choking is about loss of instinct; Panic is reversion to instinct. Besides, Gladwell points out that in certain situations, being choked is more beneficial than being panicked. When it comes to succeeding on a standardised test, should students focus on their result, they will lose the intuitions that help them. In other words, they will think too much, which means they are reverting to the explicit mode, according to the article. Gladwell reaches paradoxical conclusion that “sometimes a poor test score is the sign not of a poor student but of a good one”.

Having leant the distinction between "choking" and "panicking", I have the explanation for my disappointing TOEFL result. Although Gladwell does not describe how to switch from “choking” to “panicking” and vice versa, I am of the opinion that meditation can prevent the unnecessary stress and pressure that I experience in some situations because it allows me to calm myself. This will enable me to think clearly and make judicious decisions under any circumstances. Moreover, I could avoid being worried about possible outcomes by leaving my predicament in the laps of the gods, but I ought to focus on the task in hand and do my best. Besides, I believe that if I work harder and practise meditation every day, it will become second nature, or because, as the saying goes "practice makes perfect". No matter how difficult the challenge, I will be able to surmount it. I have realised that not only do I have the explanation for my problems, but also I have learnt that not being either “choked or “panicked” is the best solution for any tasks that I have to perform under pressure.


References
Gladwell, M. (2009) Why some people choke and others panic. What the Dog saw. New York: Penguin