In "Depression, violence, anxiety: the problem with the phrase ‘be a man’", “Be a man” is the most dangerous phrase in the English language. Film-maker Jennifer Siebel Newsom says, "To be a man today, it is to fight for success and sex, to reject empathy, and to never, ever cry. The result is depression, anxiety and violence (2016).
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My Yes/No question is:
Do we need to make changes of some values in our culture?
My answer is:
Yes, especially the unproductive ones.
In most culture, men are not supposed to explicit themselves emotionally in public. Men will not be expected to be seen crying or screaming in high pitch in public like women as it is interpreted in a form of weaknesses or immaturity. We often heard a phrase that, 'A real man never cry'. So, any men crying in public will be viewed as weak and not grown-up. In fact, no matter what gender you are in, you all have to encounter problems in life. However, because men are taught to be self reliant and pound of themselves, when any difficulties arise, they tend to try to fix the problems themselves. They avoid pouring their heavy loaded anguish to others. In case the challenges are too big for them and they are too embarrassed to find someone to talk to or to ask for help. They can end up in alcoholic addiction which later to be caught up in mask depression, With a bombarding of the never ended difficulty, the persons might commit suicide.
I think instead of focusing on fear of loosing self-respect because of being lack of capability, men should learn more on self love and how to accept themselves. While others should learn to be understanding and empathetic persons and try not to make a negative judgement on those who are getting into problems.
From the above, do you think we need to reconsider and make changes in some of the values in our culture?
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Reference
Depression, violence, anxiety: the problem with the phrase ‘be a man’.(2016, August 16). theguardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/global/2016/aug/14/why-be-a-man-is-a-dangerous-phrase
It is definitely a good thing to not stereotype what a man should be. However, I could not think of a way to achieve this.
ReplyDeleteRoles of man and woman, and what people expect from them have been ingrained and become a part of our society. They are everywhere. At this moment, looking at the TV, I see a new reporter wearing a black suit. Black, in my opinion, reflects professionalism, formality and unemotional! Imagining a group of people wearing suit make me think that they are sitting in a conference room, making a serious decision. Seriousness and unsentimental that represent masculinity are shown by common outfits that we see everyday. It is not only shown in the media, but also taught in school as well. I think we all have been asked this question: what would you want to be in the future? We were sitting in a classroom. On the wall hung pictures of professions. But is it strange that when I think of firefighter, I often see a picture of a man, not a woman, in the red signature outfit.
The ideal of masculinity has been integrated into our society for far too long. I see your point that it should be changed, but it seem really difficult. However, it is still possible. Maybe in the future generations this problem would be alleviated if we change our views starting from today!
I agree with you, sometimes men being taught that they shouldn’t show their weakness or hide their emotions but as a human being men also has feelings too even they usually cover it up and bury it deep. I think because of gender norm that expect different role from both male and female so some behaviors are considered as bad, I think everyone can cry and it’s totally alright sometimes it even shows that you care about things.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Both women and men are humans, not a machine. They have flesh and blood. There are time to be up and time to be down. They all have their own rights to do with their life as long as it won't violate other people's rights.
DeleteWhat does it mean to say "not a machine"?
DeleteIf our computers start thinking and feeling, will they stop being machines?
Not a machine means humans are emotional. They can get hurt, feel the pain, or even be happy where computers can't.
DeleteAnd I don't think computers can feel sad or even to be hurt emotionally.
Our computers can't feel pain or happiness this week, but next week? Or next year? Or ten years from now?
DeleteMy family is fulled of women. The only man in my family is my dad. I have never seen him cry for ages. I hope he isn't stressed and keep it to himself just to look mature. Actually, my sister and I are also taught that we shouldn't express all feelings. Sometimes there are lots of things in my mind and I decide to keep it. When we grow up, no matter we are male or female, people expect us to be professional. Unfortunately, in most circumstances crying in public is considered as unprofessional behavior. However, I believe that we still need a shoulder to cry on, parents and our beloved ones seem to be a good idea.
ReplyDeleteYou are a lucky person who have someone to turn to when needed.
DeleteAnother unproductive value that I could think of is about the ordinary path of life that everybody should walk through in order to get accepted by society. To explain, after we were born, we have to enter elementary school, then primary school, then secondary school, and university. The minimum education we must obtain is a bachelor's degree. Next, we need to have work ethic to create our financial stability. After that, we are expected to marry someone, reproduce our next generation, and go to the grave when that time has come. If we do not follow this path, we are mostly likely to be determined as an unsuccessful person. Actually, there are many different ways to go to build up our preferable life, but this obsolete value always holds us back not to do so. We may already have lost many opportunities in life because of this value. Therefore, I think that this value has to be changed, although it seems to be difficult to do so.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it is needed to closely examine the fact you have brought up here. Each individual who can work it out to find their own most optimal choice.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a norm which can divide genders between male and female. Men have a short hair but women have a long hair, men wear trousers but women wear dress or skirt, men are always bigger and taller than women. These physicals are explicit to divide men and women. So these represent that men are stronger than women. As a result, men cannot or should not do some actions like women as you said except that some men are the 3rd sex. However, I think we should change the norm because men and women should have equally rights. In my opinion, men can do some actions like women, such as hugging, crying, etc.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that we need to reconsider and make changes in some of the values in our culture, especially for men. Nowadays, men and women are equality, so men can express their emotional in public areas same as women. In addition, women can be a leader in some situation same as men too.
ReplyDelete